« 3 4 5 »
shorta

(Source: 9gag)

policecodeforzombieontheloose:

bowtiesontimelords:

So I work at an ice cream store, and this girl walked in today and quietly asked me who the man behind the counter was. I responded that he was my manager. 

"Oh, he’s cute. What’s his name?"

"Justin, but fair warning, he plays for the, uh, other team."

"What team?"

And I swear to fucking god four people (including myself) yelled ‘WILDCATS’ so loud she spilled her drink.

And I thought he was gay 

(Source: quantum-sheep)

i dont want to go to english class

i just

haTE my teacher so much he is so miserable so he strives to make us miserable and i had a dream about him where he told us we didnt have to rewrite this one essay but then the next day he said they were due and no one did them bc he said they didnt count and he then called us worthless people who will amount to nothing and

i shit you no that dream was 200% accurate that is some shit he would pull he is a douche

(Source: holoska)

taco-bell-rey:

"the test is today"

image

darmani:

thatkilljoy:

chromeofficial:

nothing is more satisfying than someone walking right past ur hiding spot in hide and seek

how old are you

"thatkilljoy" living up to the url i see

guroshitsuji:

don’t shit on people for having self confidence and being happy with their appearance like how bitter are you

charybterix:

graveyawn:

selva:

//cats & boxes

are you fuckin kiddin me

Kitties are kitties, no matter what size they are.

(Source: dope-pope)

woodmeat:

oh wasup yall over here smoking?

gothicgrandpaqueen:

you catch a lot of flies with honey, but you catch more honeys being fly

footmeetsface:

spoon-party-of-bombur:

multipack:

amyeatfeast:

stopthatitssilly:

alexkisu:

multipack:

f is for friends who do stuff without you

u is for uninvited

c is for clinging onto hope that you wont keep getting forgotten

k is for krispy kreme yum

this is not what i wanted this post to turn out like

one time i got in the shower and came out and no one was home and the lights were off, my entire family went bowling and forgot about me 

DOWN HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA

(Source: ihaveremade)

bowel-city:

gf: babe, come over

me: I aint got a car

gf: but my parents aren’t home

me:

image

kyuubey-:

deathcab4booty:

NO JESUS, I DONT WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN

OH MY GOD

(Source: ruinedchildhood)

ismcrback:

fall out boy and panic at the disco walk into a bar

the bartender goes “hey where’s mcr they used to come here with you guys all the time”

everyone starts crying

(Source: ismcrback)